I run into the “cafe” across the street to grab a quick bite before my drive back across the state.
I sit at the bar on a stool. I’m in a hurry.
A lady sits down on the stool next to the empty stool beside me heavily and plops her stuff down on the bar.
In a manly voice, she asks, “Can I have a cup of coffee?” to the little girl waitress.
I glance quickly over to see the title of the magazine she’s rifling through angrily. Wrestlemania.
She looks up at me. I nod.
“They stole this from me. This name, this whole concept was my idea but I didn’t get any credit for it!!”
I nod and raise my eyebrow.
She goes into a diatribe about how that kind of wrestling isn’t the sport; it’s just a show full of drama queens, no real athletes in it.
I nod knowingly.
“You know those movies they said were made in the 20’s and 30’s like Groucho Marx and them?” I shake my head yes, eager to hear what her mind was conjuring up for this one. The waitress looks at me apologetically.
“Did you know those were really made in 1976??!!! They just filmed them in black and white and backdated them to look like they happened before I was born because all of the themes of those movies, all those stars, I made all that up! But did I get any credit for it? No! I made up the character Groucho Marx. By all rights I should be a millionaire.
And, Hulk Hogan, too!!! That whole concept was my idea! I just asked him if he decided to use it to give me a cut, but did he? No! He just rubbed my face in it!
Do you see this shirt? (Yes, it’s very pretty.) I created the design for this shirt. Do you know where I found it? At the thrift store!!! I have a whole list of jean companies and people who make jackets and shirts who’ve stolen my ideas.
But what can I do against millionaires? I don’t have any money.
(To the waitress) Can I leave my stuff right here? I just want to have a cigarette.”
The waitress says, “Of course!”
The lady walks outside.
I say, “Can I have my check, please?”
I walk outside and the lady looks up and me and says, “You have a good afternoon, Ma’am.”
You, too, crazy lady. You, too.