Writing 201 Poetry Day One

The Flood Wall

Muddy my river
At the bottom of my yard
Until the flood came
Now we got nothin’ but shots
Line up for government cheese

I ran on its banks
Until they put up the wall
Too wild now to go

Dad grew tomatoes
Tacked the vine up to the wall
Police would fly by
They thought he was growing pot
Only giant tomatoes


Writing 201 Poetry Day Two

His letters were the sweetest at first
Twisting into an insatiable thirst
He was no longer kind
For his lust made him blind
And he ended up the first of the worst

He stole a line of poetry from me
Of all things unforgiven, that’s key
I was warned way ahead
But he was really good in bed
And I was busy trying too hard to flee

Then one night a phone call came
We liked so many things just the same
From the first day we met
We’ve not been apart yet
‘Cause Cupid finally had synchronous aim

The lady who invented Hulk Hogan AND Groucho Marx

I run into the “cafe” across the street to grab a quick bite before my drive back across the state.

I sit at the bar on a stool.  I’m in a hurry.

A lady sits down on the stool next to the empty stool beside me heavily and plops her stuff down on the bar.

In a manly voice, she asks, “Can I have a cup of coffee?” to the little girl waitress.

I glance quickly over to see the title of the magazine she’s rifling through angrily.  Wrestlemania.

She looks up at me.  I nod.

“They stole this from me.  This name, this whole concept was my idea but I didn’t get any credit for it!!”

I nod and raise my eyebrow.

She goes into a diatribe about how that kind of wrestling isn’t the sport; it’s just a show full of drama queens, no real athletes in it.

I nod knowingly.

“You know those movies they said were made in the 20’s and 30’s like Groucho Marx and them?”  I shake my head yes, eager to hear what her mind was conjuring up for this one.  The waitress looks at me apologetically.

“Did you know those were really made in 1976??!!!  They just filmed them in black and white and backdated them to look like they happened before I was born because all of the themes of those movies, all those stars, I made all that up!  But did I get any credit for it?  No!  I made up the character Groucho Marx.  By all rights I should be a millionaire.

And, Hulk Hogan, too!!!  That whole concept was my idea!  I just asked him if he decided to use it to give me a cut, but did he?  No!  He just rubbed my face in it!

Do you see this shirt?  (Yes, it’s very pretty.)  I created the design for this shirt.  Do you know where I found it?  At the thrift store!!!  I have a whole list of jean companies and people who make jackets and shirts who’ve stolen my ideas.

But what can I do against millionaires?  I don’t have any money.

(To the waitress) Can I leave my stuff right here?  I just want to have a cigarette.”

The waitress says, “Of course!”

The lady walks outside.

I say, “Can I have my check, please?”


I walk outside and the lady looks up and me and says, “You have a good afternoon, Ma’am.”

You, too, crazy lady.  You, too.